Life revelations while lying in bed.

Humans always want what is worst for them. I think I can finally understand how those closest to me kept going back to their addictions.

Because it just hit me how strong mine is. And how you justify to yourself that it’ll affect no one else… so you might as well… What’s the harm? But in truth, they hurt when they see you hurt. (Just like it killed you when your family was hurting because of their demons). Mind fuck.

Dear addiction, If I succeed, saying no to you, will be both the hardest and best thing I could do. To succeed, I will remind myself, that when I hurt myself, I hurt those I love. And doing that consciously is unacceptable.

I’m so sorry. It doesn’t matter that you’ll make me happy for the time being. It doesn’t matter that you miss me too. None of that matters. We can’t always have what we want. Especially if that want destroys us ~ has already destroyed part of me.

Its my choice. And my choice is to love me. Even if that involves some harsh love. Hell… The most loving parents in the world know you have to tell your kids “no” and teach them discipline… For their own good, out of love.

Signed, My own best friend

1 month ago  /  2 notes